Friday, October 30, 2015 | By: Lisa LaMendola

Why Me, Why This, Why Now?

In my counseling practice I hear this a lot from my clients.  They think just because something bad has happened to them that they have done something wrong, are undeserving, or have somehow "offended God".  This is hardly the case.


Their is a misconception of our "god" being good or evil and instead it is a neutral energy providing guidance, whether that be in the form of words placed in stone through a man (like the 10 commandments) or through others connected to the energy of source sharing immense wisdom.  The idea is not that you are punished or rewarded, but that you are educated.

Home is where our ancestors are and that is where there is no strife.  Now I am not referring to souls who choose to go into the void (where some souls go in order to reincarnate faster) or those who shifted to another dimension in another time and place instead of returning Home.  Instead, Home is where we go, heal, find peace, connect to our soul family, learn from each other, and then determine if and when we want to return. Incarnation is something we choose, not something forced upon us.  So why would we choose to come here?  Why would we not choose to stay at Home?  Because its kinda boring....

Really, it is.  Nothing changes there, its always constant ~ in a good way.  However we don't grow when there is no change so that is why we incarnate.  We want to experience who we are in a different way, we want to help each other with those experiences, and we want to expand the ability for our soul to know love.  Love is what we are, where we come from, and what expands us (where lack of love detracts from us).  So being able to see situations we would never experience at Home can only amplify our souls to feel love, right?  Well......

That's where the learning comes in.  If you don't learn, you don't expand.  So when you continue to learn the same lesson over and over again you are not expanding.  In fact, sometimes you are detracting especially if you are getting more bitter and angry with life as time goes on.  Now, about those lessons....

They come and they go.  Sometimes they don't come back around for many years, so we think "gee I learned that lesson a long time ago" or "Oh I've moved on from that so this must be a fluke".  However, its just the universal laws taking the opportunity to show you that lesson wasn't ever resolved.  Mentally moving past it is not the same as learning the lesson.  So when old lessons come up, its just because they can and you need to take a good look at the root cause of the issue.  The root cause, when not dealt with, will bring back the issue over and over again.  And no, its not that you need to learn something, usually it means you need to forgive something.

Forgiveness is an amazing tool we have that we don't often use.  It doesn't mean you were right and I was wagon when you give forgiveness to another.  It means you understand their side and your side and want to move past whatever the issue is.  It means you learned the lesson, but maybe they didn't because they still aren't talking to you or are angry towards you.  Time does not heal old wounds, it only makes it less noticeable.  The healing comes when the lesson is learned and forgiveness is expressed.  I'm not referring to "admitting you were wrong" in order to appease the other person.  That's not the same thing.  That's playing little and standing up for yourself or learning the lesson.

What I'm talking about is seeing how the other person feels.  You may be right where the situation is concerned or the reason for the initial strife to occur, but when you can see both sides then you can see where forgiveness is necessary from someone.  This is not about admitting fault, this is see where the other person sees the fault.  So apologizing is also a form of forgiveness, but saying your were wrong is not the same as apologizing.  Apologizing is saying you are sorry for how the other person is feeling or experiencing the issue.  When you have learned the lesson, seeing all areas of the conversation or situation, see how the other person is and why they see things their way, then you will see how to forgive peacefully.  This may or may not mend the situation, but it will end the lesson and allow you to move on to more important things in your life experience.

So after someone has been wounded by another, whether it be emotionally of physically, we stop and want to blame someone for our misfortune instead of looking at how WE got to be THERE in the first place.  You see lessons are a two way street.  The driver of the car that hit you is not the only one needing to learn a lesson, you are too.  There was an energy about you that put you there in that path on that day because of who you are and how you were being at the time.  Yes there may have been some good things going on in your life, but if you were a) on the wrong path, b) making poor decisions, c) stagnant in making decisions, or d) blaming others for your issues then the universe will put you in the right place at the right time to learn the right lesson.

Why, you ask?  Because you asked to.  Really, you did....a very long time ago you and the source of the universe (or what some call God) made an agreement to learn certain lessons in this lifetime and if you didn't or where wandering on the wrong path well then the universe had permission to help you get back on track. Yes, even if that means falling off a cliff or being in the path of an oncoming car.  And before you tell me that you don't remember making such an agreement that is because you are not talking through your heart but through your big ego head.

That's where we fail in this life.  The EGO.  The thinking that one is better than another, that I have a right to something that you don't have a right to, and so on.  WE think because we lost our job that its every one's fault but our own, yet for a veryyyyyy long time you knew it was coming and did nothing about it.  Or WE think that since we are skating on thin ice within our relationship that its the other persons fault when they say lets get divorced.  That divorce was coming for years, don't act so surprised.  There are more situations I could give you, but I think you get the idea.

So the biggest thing in this world is to put the EGO aside and get out of our head and think through our hearts more.  This is NOT empathy, so don't start to tell me how you don't want to be a wimp! Besides, empathy is about having compassion and understanding WHILE having boundaries (and that's another subject all its own).  Having a heart and living life through your soul instead of EGO (mental self) is how we came to live, yet society has brainwashed us into thinking otherwise.  Go back to the heart ~ that middle area of BEING you are ~ and connect again.  Not through your religion, not through your teachers, not through your head, but through your heart and soul.  That which is connected to everything that ever was and ever will be.

So, back to the title of this post.  Why Me, Why This, Why Now?  The answer is simple, because you need the experience to grow into who you came to be in this lifetime.  That agreement you made with the universe was given to you with great blessings in this life, however when you get off path you feel the pain (until you get back on the path again and the suffering is gone).  Sometimes this is minor and we learn quickly, however some of us get off path a great deal and once the universe sees we are not going to get back without its help then wham!  Wake up call is set in motion.

So instead of saying Why Me, Why This, Why Now?  Say: What about me caused this?  Why do I need too learn my lesson in this way?  How do I move forward in the right way?

Sometimes that means starting over.  Wiping the slate clean and finding a new course in life.  Maybe it means marrying your soulmate instead of dragging your feet; or divorcing your partner because now he/she is not there for you; or maybe it means quitting that horrible job and finding a new one; or changing schools to follow the path of your dreams.  I'm not saying it will be easy, however it will be a better life for you and your soul and the thousands of souls you are connected to in this lifetime. We meet thousands of people in our lifetime; some for a moment some for years.  They are all part of the plan, the journey for there is no destination in this lifetime.  Remember, the soul is eternal its only the body that leaves this world but while we are here we want to make the most of it.

So instead of talking about how much you don't have, how much another has, or how bad things are, trying looking at how good things are.  Then, when something disrupts your life you can look at it as an experience,  Not good or bad, but neutral.  Its an experience to learn and grow from, so are you paying attention?

Namaste ~









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