Sunday, July 13, 2014 | By: Lisa LaMendola

The Ending is Just the Beginning.....

This month marks 2 years since my hiking accident.  I was going to wait and write a blog post at the end of the month, on July 29th ~ the day of the accident, but then I wondered what I was waiting for.  All that would be doing is immortalizing what happened to me, not who I AM.

All experiences in life are meant to help us learn and grow along our journey.  I look around social media and don’t see much of that.  Instead I see the bitterness and resentment, blaming others for what happened to them instead of taking responsibility for their own life.  It’s so easy to blame others.  I easily could have done it, but that is not who I am and I certainly wouldn't have been at this point in my healing if I had.  Instead I focused inward on what I was to learn from it and what I could teach others from my own experience.  I have learned from others who have endured tragedy, so I had hoped that in turn I could help others in some way.

So I’m writing this post today, July 13th, because this is the day I woke up feeling whole again.  Understanding myself better ~ who I am, why I’m here, why my life was spared, because believe me I was checking out on the way toward the bolder during my accident!  I was ready to leave, but then something happened.  I ricocheted off the bolder and landed back up on the hiking path.  That’s when the pain hit…..oh the pain!  A lot has happened since that day.  I slowly began to lose my memory and by week three had large sections of my life missing.  At first I tried to remember things, but after a few months I gave up and decided if I was to remember I would.  I do remember some things now, some people, but I suspect anything I don’t remember by now I probably won’t and that’s OK.  It’s easier than wondering why certain people didn't reach out to me after my accident, especially family.  Two years later they still haven’t reached out and I suspect never will.  It doesn't bother me anymore, I suspect there is a good reason why and so it just allows for me to focus more on moving forward than looking back.

So today I woke up feeling whole and while I physically will always have some limitations, it feels like forever and a day since it all first happened.  And that’s a good thing…..  The past is no longer important, it really never is.  The only thing that matters is here and now.  However what I have learned over the past two years is more than I could have ever imagined, and what I have let go of even greater.

The things I will have to live with are the aches and pains (ankles, hip and jaw) when the barometer hovers ~ that intensity waiting for a storm to come through, or too much man manipulated energy use (like that from which the internet is derived).  It causes inflammation on an environmental level, which means they are there to stay and I must do thing to help myself, like a) limit my use of those man made energies, and b) prepare myself (arnica montana helps for the inside, arnica gel on the outside), and ease the pain as best I can. 
I also have to live with memory loss.  Short term and long term.  I can forget something from one day to the next and never regain it.  I have learned to write things down as often as possible.  I utilize alarms on my phone and apps that sync together.  As for the long term, I've just let that one go. For over a year I worked at trying to remember things about myself, about people who were meant to be a part of my life.  Then one day I woke up and realized that none of those people I was trying so hard to remember were trying to remember me.  They hadn't reached out a hand of help when I needed it most, so why was I trying so hard to remember my relationship with them if they couldn't take the time to pick up the phone to reach out or return a call?  Even if I did something wrong toward them that was the time to allow me to make amends as well.   So I decided to stop trying.  To stop caring who they were to me, for I realized that to find out would lead me to why they felt they couldn't reach out to me and that would mean having their issues in my life.  I was having a hard enough time, I didn't need that as well.  So I let go of a lot of people and stopped worrying about them and focused on me and where I was heading.  What I didn't realize was that it would take me almost 2 years to detach from everyone that I thought meant something to me.  Actually they do mean something to me, it’s that I don’t mean something to them ~ and that was what took me so long to get past.  That is when I realized that losing my memory was a good thing, for it made letting go that much easier. 

I also let go of friends who reached out along the way through my healing.  I was blessed that they tried to be there for me, but then I could see it was too much for them.  These are the ones who wanted to help, but either didn't know how or didn't realize how much help I needed.  When they did they detached.  Either because they were not in a place to help, or their own personal issues were too great.  I don’t miss them either, for they have shown me closure that I might not have been able to do myself.

One day after another slew of friends left my life, I woke up to realize that I needed to create who I really was inside and perhaps I couldn't do that now without the extra baggage.  Yes, other people’s issues are baggage to those that don’t need them.  What I use to be can be the mirror that past friends and family are looking for in me that I am no longer able to be.  Perhaps it was there perception of what I was that made me want to remember who I use to be, and who we were together.  When I stopped caring about who I was and started embracing who I AM my whole world changed.  My heart got lighter, my issues seemed so minor, and real friends emerged along with a new place to call home.  My friends may be limited now, but they are real friends.  Yes, some are from my past but they have emerged as true friends helping in whatever way they can for they know I would do the same if the role was reversed.  Perhaps that is what bothered me the most, for I would extend a hand to another in their time of need but to see how so many would not do the same for me is sad.  Not for me, but for them, for they will never know true compassion for another human being.  True love for another soul.

So today, I stand before you a new person.  Someone who is disconnected from where she’s been and only concerned about where she is heading.  For in that heading forward, I find who I truly am and I become the real me.  Not whomever I thought I was, or what others thought I should be, but who I really am.  Who I see when I feel inside myself… soul.  Who that is, is nothing like who I was, she is so much better.  For she is a reflection of the soul within creating a life worth living.

My life has taken a sharp turn from an internationally well known psychic medium, to the dog whisper.  As much as I have always loved animals I never thought about working with them on a level at which I am.  I see the world so differently now, and how pets are here to help us with our day to day life.  Truly living breathing guides, and it I my mission to teach all pet owners how to tap into that.

So as my accident officially comes to a close on the 29th, but I decided to close the door early.  My prerogative.  To allow for the healing to be complete and the journey of this new life to emerge and move forward.  I hope you take the time to look deep inside yourself and if you aren't happy with your life, suffer from juries caused by an accident, or suffer from a disease (a reflection of the inner turmoil to the outer self), then make a change.  Make a BIG change.  Make MANY changes, until you find where you are meant to be and then allow yourself to become the person you were always meant to be.

Namaste ~


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